MARRIAGE A lifetime Commitment or just a Fling?

“Women are born for three reasons – to stay single, to get married or to enter a convent. Those who stay single just can’t make up their minds or are not attracted to a lifetime commitment. Those who enter a convent make easy access to God. Those who get married are meant to take care of babies and to attend to the needs of their husbands. In short, they are entitled to become caring mothers and faithful wives. Once a woman ties the knot, she carries the responsibility of making a whole, complete family.”

Broken marriages seem to be normal nowadays. It is no big deal to get separated from a husband or wife in the spark of a second. Like a piece of cake, marriage annulments are processed so easily. No wonder there is an increasing number of broken homes where children are fated to face emotional crises. It’s no surprise adolescents become delinquent and misguided as they find temporary comfort in the tempting lure of technology and wrong choice of friends.

It’s so hard to fathom why marriages break. After living together for some years as husband and wife, couples tend to lose interest in each other’s company. They discover each other’s differences which they themselves, struggle to complement, and if things are not patched up and finally settled, the final recourse is to get separated because they no longer find compatibility to make their marriage work. Now the question is, will they just end that way? Will they just end as friends after all the vows and promises sworn before the altar of God?

Is there really sanctity in marriage? To commit one’s self to another for a lifetime is not a personal whim. It’s never a joke. Marriage is a lifetime commitment where there is no turning back, no exchange, no return, no retreat, and no surrender. It is a decision not made overnight but after long years of reflection and logical thinking. It’s more than a feeling; it is an ultimate risk offered in life. Once a man risks his own life to marry his beloved girl whom he swears to love forever, he’s putting a period to singleness and does a woman who marries a man.

Why do marriages break up? Who’s at fault? Is it the man or the woman?

While it is true that behind a man’s success there is a woman, it is also reality that behind his downfall there is still a woman. For example, the Biblical story of “The Garden of Eden” reveals that man committed his first sin because of Eve, but Adam also conquered his loneliness because of the same woman whom God sent to the garden. There are quite a good number of successful men whose women stand behind them in difficult moments. The success of a husband and wife relationship depends on the openness of one another to give and take, to love and respect, and to listen and understand each other differences. One should never leave the other in difficult moments.

Many couples seek the advice of marriage counselors to keep their marriage intact. In fact, some marital problems are not really complicated. They are simple issues that require a heart- to- heart talk between husband and wife. I believe that the woman plays a greater role in working things out right. In my own view, perhaps these tips would help: First, a woman should never be chronic nagger, when she starts nagging; she ruins the peace within a man. Second, a woman should not demand much of her man’s time. She must not covet her husband’s TV time. Leave him alone for some moments to recollect his thoughts. Third, a woman should give her man a space. Remember he has friends to share his time too. Besides, the wife is not the only person whom the husband meets each day. The secret is trust. Fourth, a woman should love what her man loves to do. If the husband loves to play outdoor games, then the wife can be the playmate. Fifth, a woman should accept man’s uniqueness. Remember that in spite of all imperfections, God created man for woman to accept more than to blame.

I just can’t still decipher why married couples break up. Experiences of break-ups packaged on media just continue to confuse unmarried individuals on whether marriage is really a lifetime commitment or just a fling. Marriage is a gift from God. It should be treasured forever.